If you’re like me and could not imagine saying your vows in front of anyone other than your partner, then you’re in the right place.

Writing your vows is intimidating, so as like writing in general, it helps to just start. Yep. Grab that pen and paper and lets goooooo!!!!!

How to Write your Vows: Start With The Past

What about their tinder profile made you swipe left? Just kidding, but really. What made you say, hey, I want to get to know this person more.

You can talk about your first date and what got you excited about your second date, and how the first couple months of your relationship made you ___ about ___. It’s like madlibs! And if you don’t know what madlibs are, I’m guessing you’re not a millennial.

And of course, feel free to include any inside jokes.

Eventually you can make your way to ….

How to Write your Vows: Talk About the Present

Now you get to talk about what life has been like since you’ve settled into who you are as a couple. You can draw on the support you’ve offered each other, your favorite memories over the years, and even the hurdles you’ve been though together.

How to Write your Vows: Plan for the Future

Now is the perfect time to go into why you are here together, in this moment, and what you want to promise each other moving forward! You don’t have to go into where you see yourselves in 5 years, but definitely focus on the things you want to do for each other, how you plan to continue supporting your partner, and how excited you are for the years to come :)

how to write your wedding vows: how long they should be

How Long Should Your Vows Be?

There is no limit to how long your vows can be. I know you think they should be short but sweet, and honestly fuck that. Say what you want to say because this is your wedding day! It’s the perfect moment to be vulnerable and open and fully immersed in the moment. That being said, make sure you’re on the same page about how long your vows will be. Nothing is more depressing than one of you sharing a novel, and the other sharing the Cliff notes.

Other Things You Can Include In Your Vows

I’ve had couples include their favorite song lyrics, recite poetry, read passages from their favorite books, and more. When it comes to your vows, it doesn’t have to all be from you - you can also source inspiration from outside sources because honestly, some really amazing things have been said and sometimes we aren’t able to say it any better!

Things to avoid in your vows

I don’t have a lot to say here because I think the sky is the limit, but avoid filler words like “always”, “just”, and “really”. Read your vows out loud once you’re finished and make sure they sound like you.

There we go! Hopefully this helps the daunting task of writing your vows go a little bit easier. When in doubt, just write and then edit down and then write some more and continue on until you feel like you’ve said all you want to say! Have any other resources that have made writing your vows easier? Leave a comment below!

how to write your vows: what to write your vows on

What do we write our vows on?

While it’s 2022 and you can absolutely just “write” your wedding vows on your notes app in your phone and read it during your ceremony, it’s a bit more photogenic to write them down. You can find tons of personalized vow books from small businesses on Etsy as well. My favorite vow books are these genuine leather vow books hand made by Way Out West Leather on etsy that are shown in all of the photos above!