Should You Do a First Look?
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Many people have asked me this question, so I thought it would be helpful to share my answer. I will start with the most important part: The first look is not a must-have! It's not something you absolutely need to do on your wedding day, and there are plenty of couples who don't end up doing one. If you want to go through with it, though, here are some things that might help you decide if it's a good fit for your big day.
Should you do a first look?
I'm often asked about the merits of doing a first look or not and whether or not it's worth it. The first look is not a must-have! It's not something you absolutely need to do on your wedding day, and there are plenty of couples who don't end up doing one. If you want to go through with it, though, here are some things that might help you decide if it's a good fit for your big day.
Are you sure that doing a first look is right for you?
First looks are great for couples who want to get their photos taken in the morning, but don't have time to hang out with all the guests before the ceremony.
If you're not sure if you want to do a first look, ask yourself these questions:
Do you have time? If you're getting ready on the same property then a first look could be best because it won't take much time. However, if both people are getting ready in separate locations (at least 30 minutes apart), then it may not be worth it unless there is some extra room on your schedule during those hours where you can hang out before heading to your ceremony.
Do you want your partner to see you for the first time walking down the aisle? This isn't a moment that can be replicated so think long and hard about where you imagine seeing your person for the first time on your wedding day!
Hows the weather? If there is a chance of rain then consider doing a first look so you can get more couples portraits done incase of rain later on in the day.
Do you want to do photos with loved ones before or after the ceremony?
Where do you get ready if you want to do a first look?
If you’re eloping or out in nature and aren’t sure about the logistics of getting dressed without your partner seeing you, you have some options. You can:
Get ready at your home space together and do your first look there
Get ready at your home space together, hop in separate cars (or put a blanket between the front and back!) and drive to an alternate spot
Get ready on either side of your car, usually only recommended if you have the privacy to do so ;)
Get ready in separate locations and meet at one location
Where should you do your first look?
In a private area. This is the primary consideration for deciding where to do your first look, and it should be chosen with care. Ideally, you'll want to find somewhere that's relatively quiet (so people don't interrupt) and private.
In a place where there is meaning for both of you. There are many ways your wedding day can be meaningful: Maybe it's the trailhead that holds special memories for you, or maybe it's your favorite home away from home. The location should be memorable for both of you so that when the moment comes, all eyes will be on each other rather than what's around you.
At your getting ready space if you are short on time.
At your ceremony location if you are getting ready in separate locations.
How should you do your first look?
Your first look can be as simple or elaborate as you want it to be, but there are some basic guidelines. For example, if your partner is the one who wants a surprise at their wedding, they should be blindfolded in order to not look see you walk up to them till you are close enough. They should also not know what you’re wearing on your wedding day until that moment. Some common first look options:
Having one partner facing away while the other walks up
Tapping your partner on their shoulder
Hugging your partner from behind
Standing back to back and turning around together
As far as how your photographer captures this moment goes, there's no "right" way. Some photographers will guide you and ask you to do specific things so they can make sure they get the expected photos - others just let you go for it whenever you're ready! Most photographers will keep their distance though as we know this is an important moment just for the two of you.
Who should you do your first look with?
The person you want to do your first look with is up to you. Some couples choose their best friend, while others opt for the person they're marrying. Some even go with their kids or the members of their wedding party. You can even do your first look with a dog! It's completely up to you and how much time you want to spend on your wedding day before your ceremony.
What happens after the first look?
After your first look, you’re free to do what you want! You can read hand written vows to each other, you can go back to your getting ready space and relax together, you can even go mingle with loved ones. You'll have time to get other photos out of the way too so you don't have to do them after the ceremony. If you want to mingle with guests as they arrive, or hide away from them if that's what makes more sense for you two on your wedding day—this is really up to both of you! And if one of these things sounds like it would actually make more sense than anything else: feel free! There is no right way or wrong way when it comes to these decisions; just whatever seems best for YOUR relationship and YOUR comfort level on YOUR special day.
So, should you do a first look? For me, the answer is yes! But only if you’re comfortable with it and it feels right for your relationship with your partner (and family!). No matter what, though, make sure to ask yourself: Do we want to remember our wedding day as the best day of our lives? If so, then let’s start by giving ourselves and each other some extra time to enjoy it—even if that means adopting a new tradition or two along the way.
I truly love working with couples, helping them create a vision and plan towards it. I believe every wedding is YOUR day--you get to choose what works best for you!
I'm here to explore ideas and discuss options with you!
